Sickness, Sabbath, & Saints

I am typing this from my dorm room sick with the flu. Yes, it sucks! The past few days have been filled with kleenex's, chicken noodle soup, lack of appetite, constant naps, vitamin C, drugs, extreme boredom and a very expensive doctor visit. Aside from not feeling myself, the most frustrating thing is feeling powerless. I don't think I've ever had a sickness slow me down this much, at least not at such a critical time.  After all,  I don't have the time, money or patience to be sick right now with school, work, and Spring Sing craziness. As I sat in my lonely room in a puddle of self wallow, denial, and guilt I remembered a conversation I had with my boss a few weeks ago. Though he was sick, he had to stay late and cover a class for one of his professors. I remember him phrasing it as one of life's many inconveniences. He went on to explain that many negative things happen in life for no particular reason, they just happen. Instead of letting these negative events ruin his day, he just views them as minor speed bumps on the road of life. Inconveniences, while annoying, are not the end of the world.  It's interesting to me how a simple attitude change can open up a whole new perspective. I found this quote that pretty much sums it all up.

It also occurred to me, no matter how hard I tried to not get the flu bug going around campus, God had other plans. I am a control freak who enjoys "being busy". Recently, however, I have been physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted: definitely lacking in the sleep department. Getting sick is my body's way of forcing my stubborn self to slow down for a bit, something that my friends have been hinting on for a while. I was in desperate need of a Sabbath. Contrary to popular belief, Sabbath does not mean the 7th day of the week, but rather means "holy day of rest". God rested on the 7th day as an example that we as humans need an occasion break. Mark 2:27 says, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.". It is my belief that the Sabbath was created not only for physical rest, but for personal reflection and emotional and spiritual healing only found in communion with God. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest". This is something I have definitely been lacking in. It's hard to "be still" and bring worries, stresses, and thoughts to God when the world around me is moving crazy fast. Even in the craziness, God shows me that he is in control and he will provide help and comfort if I seek it through his Spirit.

Finally, God has been at work on my pride. I am the student who is at every class, turns in assignments on time, and expects no less than an A on everything. I am the person who overcommits, but always shows up, on time, for those commitments no matter how many other things I have going on. I am strong, independent, smart, and I don't need anyone else to help with my problems. These are lies that build up my image so that no one can see the brokenness inside. It's like a puzzle box. You look at the outside and see the beautiful picture that is created. It's not until you open the box that you see all the broken pieces, that need put together. I have come to the realization that I need other people, and that God is working through the words and actions of those closest to me. Since I have been sick, I have had no choice but to let go of my stubborn will and let others help me. Even though I feel guilt for being a burden and potentially exposing others to my illness, I am so grateful to have people in my life that truly care. As I go through the next few days I hope to rest up, allow other truly willing to help, and have the attitude of Proverbs 17:22 that says" A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones".

May the Lord bless you and keep you
~K.L.E