Living as a New Creation

Today is a day to celebrate. A day to reflect and a day to show gratitude. A day to feel peace and confidence in a world of insecurity and turmoil. Every day should reflect this but this day in particular holds a very special imprint in my heart. On this day, I made the most important decision of my life and was given the greatest gift of all time. 4 years ago to date, I made a commitment to follow Christ and was washed of my sins through baptism. I became a new creation, no longer belonging to my flesh but being part of the body of Christ. I was given life, purpose, forgiveness, and redemption. Most importantly, I was given the Holy Spirit to guide me through the rocky paths of life.

Growing up in the church, I understood spiritual matters from a very young age. I always knew that God loved and took care of me and that someday, I would make the important decision to follow him. Starting around the age of 11 I realized that I desired to be baptized and "officially" become a member of God's family. Part of this desire stemmed from peer pressure and others wondering when I would make the decision that so many of my younger friends already had. But I didn't feel ready. For the next five years I prayed that God would prepare me for baptism. I knew there were recurring sins in my life such as anger, jealously, insecurity, and pride that I felt need to be corrected before baptism. In a sense, I was praying for perfection, but what I didn't realize is that perfection is only found through Christ. I was delusioned that I needed to correct my faults before daring to enter God's kingdom and that after baptism, life would be dandy because I not only conquered my sins, but I have Christ to help me stay on the straight and narrow. 

I was 16 in prayer group at church camp when a non-believer changed my life and my whole perspective. When we were split of into pairs I remember being nervous because of all the girls in my cabin, this girl was a little rough around the edges. We started discussing faith and as she talked about her doubts about the "God thing" she asked me if I was baptized. I told her about my journey of eliminating sin and waiting for the right moment. She stared at me for a few seconds before straight up asking "no offense, but if you know your God like you say you do, and his love is as great as it appears, why are you waiting?" That question lingered in my mind for a few days and as I prayed over it, God started to open my mind. I realized that baptism is for the broken, and that the Great physician came to heal those who are sick, not well. A few days later I was baptized into Christ by my father. I remember distinctly the events of that day and the small group of people that witnessed my new birth. 

Before, I was under the assumption that baptism was an outward reflection of repentance and submission to God but even more than that, something amazing happened when I came out of that water. I can't explain it in words other than simply magical. Scenes of heaven flashed before my eyes and I could physically distinguish what felt like God's arms completely surrounding me. I knew in that moment I was forever changed. I could feel God's immense love and grace running through my veins with complete peace and confidence in my life's purpose. 

Soon after, I kept experiencing the same sinful thoughts and selfish desires of before I thought that they would go away, and since they didn't, I felt guilt and shame. One major thing I have learned throughout life's many hurdles is being in Christ does not  eliminate pain, fear, or sin. However, because of God's gift of the holy spirit, I now have the tools to deal with these situations. I have also learned that living in Christ is not about having a counselor to get you through the tough times, or a sugar daddy to bestow blessings. Instead, living in Christ is about full surrender, great faith, and love for one another. It's about giving God your all and your very best. Christianity is not about God being with you, but rather about being within you. When God becomes part of your identity, everything thing else works out through the good times and the bad. 

I say all of this to say, I am so very grateful for the gift of redemption and of God's spirit within me. With out God, I feel this world is empty and lonely. The thought of someone giving the life of their son because of me and for me leaves me with chills. I can't even grasp the love and mercy that God shows me every day. Sometimes I can't feel his presence, but as I look back, I see that He was there all along and his fingerprints are all over my life. God is incredible and though I don't feel deserving, I am proud to be a daughter of the King. 

May the Lord bless you and keep you,

K.L.E