Ain't no Mountain High Enough
Mountains and valleys. Ups and downs. The roller coaster effect. The change in seasons. No matter how it is presented, this idea of high and low times in life is an infallible part of human existence. Most people would agree that life is not always sunshine and daisies and that it is sometimes full of storms. But what about when the sun is shining and the daisies are blooming and yet the reality of the valley is all too real? Yes, the valley may be beautiful and in perfect bloom, but it is still not the mountain. The perspective is different. The mountain perspective allows a person to gaze out upon all the blessings in life and have a focused goal of reaching the top. It displays life troubles and distractions as distant and ant-like, something that surrounds but never really affects. It's a sanctuary from the world igniting passion, drive, and feelings of invincibility. On the mountain, God's presence is so close it is almost blinding and so tangible that one can almost reach out and grab it.
In contrast, the valley might be stormy and dark, but often it is beauty in disguise because of a tainted perspective. Blessings are all around, and yet the tall grass keeps them out of direct sight. The birds chirp and the sun shines, but visions on the mountain top replay in the mind, and nothing compares. Life goes on as it was, and once again, one is thrown back in to the sea of nobodies, no more than a drop in the ocean. Reliving the normalcies of life is difficult because somehow, everything feels as if it should be different. Only those who were on the mountain also can even begin to understand this sensitive state and it can be quite isolating.
I would be lying if I did not admit that I am in a valley right now. Coming off of six amazing weeks spent in Ukraine and then a great week at Camp Wiregrass, I've gone into a hibernation depression. I often reflect on what was for those 8 wonderful weeks, but even that memory is turning to a faint glimmer. I find motivation difficult, even to do the simplest tasks and since I hurt my ankle, I have an increased urge to wallow in my self-pity and do absolutely nothing. I want to be by myself, and yet I feel very alone. I feel disgusted at my lack of discipline but yet live every day, the same as the last. The harsh realities of life have resurfaced and negative thoughts consume my mind over things I can not change. I keep looking to my mountain top experience for gratitude and joy, but instead I find great disappointment in myself and the world around me. I am in the valley surrounded by blooming blessings and yet I can't see past the small rocks along the path. This is a very common feeling I have, and though this period never lasts for an extended time, it seems like a never ending cycle and I don't know how to escape. The sad truth is that while I am selfishly dissatisfied with my own world, people in my very country, city, and neighborhood are in need of the Love of Christ.
I realize that I am someone who always lives in hopes of the next mountain experience, and constantly fill my life with meaningless busyness trying to complete the void. Being "busy" is my drug used to numb the pain of loneliness and feeling unworthy. With out this drug, my purpose is blurred especially when coming off of the higher drug known as the mountain top experience. I don't know how to stop this cycle but I am trying to appreciate the view in the valley and realize it's hidden beauty too. I also know mountains cannot be climbed without being in the valley first, and the perspective seen from the mountaintop only grows when closer to the ground. Another thing I am trying to keep in mind is to look up, and realize that no matter where I am, God is always there.
This is my prayer for these last few weeks of summer.
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You,
K.L.E
In contrast, the valley might be stormy and dark, but often it is beauty in disguise because of a tainted perspective. Blessings are all around, and yet the tall grass keeps them out of direct sight. The birds chirp and the sun shines, but visions on the mountain top replay in the mind, and nothing compares. Life goes on as it was, and once again, one is thrown back in to the sea of nobodies, no more than a drop in the ocean. Reliving the normalcies of life is difficult because somehow, everything feels as if it should be different. Only those who were on the mountain also can even begin to understand this sensitive state and it can be quite isolating.
I would be lying if I did not admit that I am in a valley right now. Coming off of six amazing weeks spent in Ukraine and then a great week at Camp Wiregrass, I've gone into a hibernation depression. I often reflect on what was for those 8 wonderful weeks, but even that memory is turning to a faint glimmer. I find motivation difficult, even to do the simplest tasks and since I hurt my ankle, I have an increased urge to wallow in my self-pity and do absolutely nothing. I want to be by myself, and yet I feel very alone. I feel disgusted at my lack of discipline but yet live every day, the same as the last. The harsh realities of life have resurfaced and negative thoughts consume my mind over things I can not change. I keep looking to my mountain top experience for gratitude and joy, but instead I find great disappointment in myself and the world around me. I am in the valley surrounded by blooming blessings and yet I can't see past the small rocks along the path. This is a very common feeling I have, and though this period never lasts for an extended time, it seems like a never ending cycle and I don't know how to escape. The sad truth is that while I am selfishly dissatisfied with my own world, people in my very country, city, and neighborhood are in need of the Love of Christ.
This is my prayer for these last few weeks of summer.
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You,
K.L.E
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