God is My Pilot: Navigating Adult Life

To anyone who may be reading this: it's been a while since I have word vomited parts of my life experiences, but my thoughts have been collecting, one-by-one, and now is a good time to organize all my brain files in the form of words. As I little girl, I remember idolizing adulthood, as many children do. I wanted so bad to make my own rules, be independent, and live on my own. I wanted to be able to drive when ever and wherever I wanted, and make my own money. At this point I also still believed that writing checks was a magical form of free money. Boy do I wish that were true! I have boxes and boxes of dusty checks. I digress.

 Growing up, my parents taught my siblings and I responsibility, both with money and household management, and I do believe they did a good job of portraying a realistic view. However, how to "adult" is not really something that can be understood until it is experienced. Fast forward many years later: I am now graduated from college, moved to a new location with my first full time job, paying bills, and honestly, loving life.When people discuss growing up, two extremes can exist in the common stream of thought. Some can't leave their childish ways of thinking behind, and still see adulthood as this utopia of free money and un-restricted independence. These people usually end up back in their parents basement or in prison by the way. Others portray "adulting" as something to dread. UGH bills, and debt, and responsibility, and can I just run away now? 

If I were completely honest, I definitely identify more with the second way of thinking. As I was finishing up school, I was filled with anxious questions about the future. Where will I live? Will I find a job? OMGoodness student loan payments are due in a few months, what happens if I can't find a job? As the summer begin, the anxiety increased, and turned from anxious thoughts to full-on hyper anxiety/feeling like a complete failure. I sent out over a hundred job applications with little-to-no reply and the more time passed, the less confident and motivated I felt in my job searching process. Not to mention the immense pressure I was putting on my self, and that others were unintentionally putting on me in trying to be helpful. 

The summer was ending. I was literally at a crossroads, and really kinda felt sucky about myself and my abilities. One day, I received an email about scheduling a phone interview for the next week. From the moment I received that email a great feeling of peace washed over me. I did not want to get my hopes up, but it did feel like God was giving me a great big wink and saying, "don't worry, I got you." The phone interview went great, and I was invited to Jacksonville for an in-person interview. Normally interviews make me very nervous, but once again I felt God's reassurance and at this point I didn't have much to lose. From the moment I walked through the doors at IKEA's temp office, I felt right at home, and honestly felt very confident that I was the perfect candidate for this position. That is a feeling I have never had before, and can only be explained by the interference of a higher power. 

After the confirmation of my employment, I was given about three weeks to move here, and get settled. I was elated about my new job, and that I would still only be a few hours away from home. the race was on to find a place to live, a church family, and figure out all the details in moving and beginning my new job. My demeanor completely changed, almost over night, and though I knew I was about to move somewhere where I knew absolutely no one, and didn't even have a place to stay, God walked with me, hand in hand, and literally provided everything I could need and so much more.  I was blessed to be in contact with a great church family, who went out of their way to find a place for me to temporary place to stay, just days before I was to arrive, and also now a more permanent place to stay. Somehow, I was given the money needed to fix all the "little emergencies" with my car before coming. The AC compressor went out, the turn signals stopped working, my sunroof broke, my oil needed changing, my power windows didn't work, etc. etc. All of these situations were stressful, but not once did it feel like I was not provided for by my Heavenly Father.

 My eyes have been opened and I am humbled every day when I think about how everything fell into place. I don't want to give the impression that everything about this transition process has come easily; there have most certainly been challenges and insecurities along the way. However, God in his sovereignty has been there every step of the way, and that's why today I can say that I truly am loving and embracing this new life God has blessed me with. My thoughts are continuing to bubble over, but words can never fully express how it feels to be starting my own life, with God as the pilot. I'm excited to see where life's journey takes me next. 

Until Next Time, 

K.L.E